The loss of a Pastor larger than life

I fell away from God in my teenage years. When I became pregnant with my son I decided that I wanted to raise him in church. I knew of a small church that my some of my family went to and the Pastor was a wonderful man who had been around my family for a long time. So over 12 years ago I started going to Dante Missionary Baptist Church. I fell in love with the church and the people who made up that church. It's one of those churches where everyone is related somehow or another. It felt like home. I was so excited to have Phillip do Elijah's dedication. 

 

My Pastor didn't ever meet a stranger. He loved you as you were. He didn't care if you wore a fancy suit and tie or busted jeans and a t shirt, as long as you were praising the Lord. He was so accepting and loving. He made you feel at home. That is how Dante feels to me. It feels like home and a big part of that was Phillip. He cared so much for his church and everyone in it. 

He was a working Pastor. He worked full time running a company and doing manual labor and worked full time for the Lord. I honestly don't know when that man slept. When he wasn't working he was at the hospital with someone's loved one. I can't count how many times he has been there for my family praying with us before surgeries or when our loved ones were dying, no matter what time of the night, Phillip was always there. I remember when my Mom had her heart attack and we didn't know if she was going to make it through surgery, Phillip walked in and he prayed with us and comforted us. He has preached many of my loved ones funerals. 

Phillip made me feel safe. I live below Phillip and Jackie. I had been in a domestic violence situation before and when I got out of that I no longer felt safe where I lived. When I moved in here I felt so safe. Not only was my Pastor my neighbor, but he was an avid hunter. So knowing he was near and if he had to he could serve, protect, and bring the perpetrators to the Lord at the same time. 

He was a large man. He had these huge hands. I made the mistake of standing next to him in a prayer circle once. He crushed my hand. By the end of the prayer I was in tears and it wasn't because I was overcome with the spirit. He gave the BEST hugs. I am going to miss those big hugs. The ones where he just pulls you in and beats on you for a minute. Especially when it seemed like he always knew when you really needed a hug.

I am so thankful this past Wednesday I was able to get one of those hugs. He thanked me for bringing him food that past weekend. I wish I had hugged him longer. When I came down out of the choir he grabbed my hand and held it for a minute. I never thought that this could be the last time I saw him. He sat in front of us during the service. I told him he looked good and he just smiled at me. He sat attentively and listened to my friend Shawn preach. I am so thankful that the church was full for that Wednesday service and that the Youth were there. 

He was so proud of our men who had been called to preach. He sat there and listened to Shawn's message with so much pride. Our Pastor was our number one supporter in anything we did. When we went to Haiti he was behind us 100% and he donated so much of his own money for that trip and for a lot of other things we did as a church. He supported our dance team and stood beside us when other people were unsure about it. He was also a huge supported of the Youth. He loved our Youth so much. He was so proud of the way they were stepping out and worshipping. He loved and encouraged everyone. 

Tonight was his funeral. We had his service at our church. Traffic was backed up. The line for the receiving of friends was out the door and the wait was an hour and a half. His family stood up there for four and a half hours. Every one who came loved Phillip. He had touched their lives in some way or another. He helped so many people. So many people loved him. We all loved him. 

I streamed his funeral on fb for his family and friends who couldn't make it. We had 160 people watching the service live. On any given Sunday we have around 13 people who watch our fb live. As of this post 15,000 people have watched his service. It is a testament to what kind of person our Pastor was.

Where do we go from here? I am feeling lost. My heart feels like it is broken in a million pieces. I am grieving for his family. I can't imagine what they are feeling. His grand children were his greatest treasures and he loved them so much and they loved their Papaw. All I can do is offer my prayers and love. I still needed him to be my Pastor. To explain things in a way that only Phillip was good at. Some of his sermons I could swear were just for me. He had a way of speaking directly to your heart. He let the Spirit lead him. We are a church without a Pastor, and it will be a while before we find one and vote on one. No one will be able to replace Phillip. He was family. 

Going forward without him is going to be so hard. He had a great vision for his church. I pray that we are able to honor him and continue on with what he set forth. There are a lot of uncertainties. Please pray for us during this time! The only thing that gives me comfort is know that I am saved and I will see him again in heaven and in the meantime he is up there with all of our loved ones who has passed. God is good all the time.