Before I get started I want to acknowledge that I am fully aware that there are kids worse off than Drama. I know it could be a worse situation. That doesn't make what we go through on a daily basis any easier.
Something happened when this child hit 10. He got a lot more harder to control. He started being a lot more moody. I blame this on the start of puberty. It seems to have made his Asperger symptoms magnified. It's also made him ashamed of his food allergies.
He knows he is different. He sees when kids don't want to play with him. When they make rude comments about him being weird, he hears that and it hurts him like it would anyone. He has said he doesn't know why God "did this to him". He has been depressed. His therapist told me that kids like him are at risk for suicide. I don't have to only worry that food is going to kill my child, now I have to worry about him harming himself.
All he talks about are video games. This is pretty normal for a child with Aspergers who has this niche. I think it is extremely annoying. I try so very hard to listen as much as my ear drums can handle and then I simply tell him that he has reached his limit on video game talk for the day. Sometimes I'm not so nice about it if he continues.
I try to explain to him that not everyone wants to hear about video games, but he continues to talk to anyone who will listen and mostly at the most inopportune times. For instance to a waitress who is taking our order, during Sunday school, random passers by. I'm serious. It's a major problem. Sometimes I take him to gamestop just so he has someone to talk to.
He labeled this pic as "Deal with it"Lately he has been so ashamed of his food allergies. Take for instance last nights Trunk or Treat at church. He said it was embarrassing that he couldn't eat the food they had. He didn't even want to go because half the candy he is allergic to. I told him he didn't have to say anything and we would seperate it out when we got home. He refuses to wear any kind of food allergy awareness apparel. My involvement in the food allergy community has dwindled because it embarrasses him so much. He hates being different. This is very scary to me. I worry that when he is older he may not tell someone he has allergies and he could die if he eats anything with nuts in it. A lot of food allergy deaths happened with teenagers. That's when over protective moms aren't hovering to make sure their kids food is safe. Teens may be more unlikely to ask if something is safe for them to eat or check ingredients because they don't want to be made fun of. They want to belong.
Drama is getting to where he is a lot stronger than me. If he has a bad meltdown it is almost impossible to put him in a therapeutic hold. He could definitely hurt me if he tried.
I would do anything to take this all away from him. He feels so defeated having food allergies and autism. He wants to be normal. He longs to have a Dad. Having a Dad who was in the picture would definitely make our lives easier. I think 50% of the stress would be gone. It's hard being the only one who makes the decisions about your child's health. If something happened to me, I'm not confident anyone could do what I am currently doing for him.
What people don't see is the schooling he does. He does his school online because it's so much easier than putting him in a school where he is at risk of an allergic reaction and having to deal with bullies. He thrives better being homeschooled. People say, what about socialization? I invite those people to observe him around other children at church. Kids know when someone is different. Not that many kids choose to play with him. When he was in public school his teachers said he stayed with the teachers talking their ears off or he played by himself. I've overheard kids saying "we don't want to play with him". It's hard for a mom to hear. There are a couple of sweet kids who do play with him and when that happens my hearts bursts with happiness.
I'm hoping with more therapy he will do better socially.
He has great strengths. I believe he will do something great in the field of technology. It's going to take a lot of sacrifice but one day everyone will want to know him. He is the smartest person I know. He knows more about computers and gaming consoles than I could ever know. He mourned the loss of Nintendo's President. There were tears. He is fully invested in becoming the first American President of Nintendo. I would love to take him to a gaming convention. I feel like he would meet so many people he could relate to and feel like he belonged. He has begged me to take him to MineCon but it was in the UK this year and flying is definitely not happening any time soon. Hopefully next year it will be in Florida.
Future President of Nintendo
Drama is unique. I would not trade him for anything in the world. This is my purpose in life. To raise this brilliant child and to help him achieve greatness. It's been a long hard road and I am sure we have a lot more to overcome but by the Grace of God we will make it. We are all given our paths for a reason. I'm glad God chose this as my path.
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