Chasing the High

A good friend of mine and my son's Youth Pastor once said "There ain't no high like the most high", and that is so true. When I got back from Haiti, I was soaring. I have been chasing that high ever since. I've found it a few times at church, some in the car during my worship time with God, but I can't reach that high I felt back in Haiti during that worship service on base in that little stone chapel where I felt myself leave my body and meet Jesus in the clouds.

I have been struggling ever since. I have been searching for ways to go back to Haiti as a missionary. Which is completely plausible, unless you are a single mother. I have reached out to organizations who instead offer missions trips. I want to stay longer than a week. I desire to work with children. Having a lasting impact and bring my son so he will be impacted.

I've felt the call to serve in Haiti for a very long time. I know that God is not finished with me. He wants me to serve. He will show me the way. There are obviously some things I need to finish before I go back. You can't rush God's process. It's his time not my time.

Day Five in Haiti

Today I was the first to wake up in the girls dorm. Two 5mg Melatonin is the way to go for sleep. After breakfast we headed out to Defouneau, a village past Balalie. It would be our longest truck ride yet. We had some sketchy moments. There is one part of the road that dips down on one side and we almost turned over yesterday. With the rains we also had to go through lots of standing water. We passed Balalie and we were excited because we thought we had made it and all of a sudden there's huge puddle ahead of us (we already almost got stuck in the mud once). 

So Jay got out and asked us what we wanted to do. Did we want to back up and go to another village back the way we came or unpack and go by foot. My vote was for backing up and heading to another village because I did not want to walk. I have huge blisters on my legs and other places so it is painful to walk. We all prayed about it and our group decided to get out and walk. During our prayer I asked God that if we were to go forward that he would make the pain go away. I did not have pain during my walk (now is another story) a little girl who met us at the truck grabbed my hand and helped me the whole way. 

When we got there the children were ready for us in the church. The Pastor had already got 100 kids and had them in their Sunday best, clean, and divided boys on one side and girls on the other. They were singing when I finally arrived behind my team. Someone said to me something about what I had said about wanting to turn back and it hurt. This was just another lesson I needed to learn. That even though it hurts and the road is tough if we persist and move forward he will bless us.

I got to play soccer with the kids, something I had on my list of things to do. All the kids were well behaved. The pastor was amazing and the ladies helping were great. This was the most organized village. Everything went smoothly. I got to take their little pictures for their craft. So I got to see lots of smiles and sassy poses. I like seeing them eat. It makes me feel good to hand a heaping plate of food to a little kid who appreciates it. Back in the states we hand food to kids who won't eat what you give them (including my son). They just don't know how good they have it. We take so many things for granted. I hope that this experience stays with me and I never forget the lessons I've learned. God has spoke to me so much. I've been looking for answers, searching for my it and I think I have found it.

Our last ride back was a little sad. I will miss seeing the little kids waving at us and all the little villages. Going through the city. 

When we got back to base dinner was ready and I was hungry.

Beef, Rice with red sauce, Pikle, and French fries.

After we ate we had some down time before church.

I love the way they do church on the YWAM base. It is very intimate and the Lord is close. Kenny gave the message and it was translated into kreyol for the Haitian staff members. Kenny spoke about worship and ways to worship him. I felt very comfortable expressing myself. It was like I was close in that moment to God and I felt his love wrap around me and that he heard my petitions.

After the message they played another song and we were to go to another person and say an encouraging word and the people who spoke to me said things that I had prayed for during worship. I wish church last longer I just needed everything that was given to me in that room, God's Grace has been so abundant during this trip. 

After worship we headed over to the cafeteria, where there's also a ping pong table and fooseball table. Noah and I decided to play spoons, we had some people join in including YWAM Staffers. After Spoons we had an arm wrestling match. It's a great atmosphere here. 

Day Four in Haiti

Well today started off on a depressing note. We went down to breakfast which was delicious of course and our guide Jay stood up on a chair to make an announcement. He said that the adults in Gervais, the town we were supposed to go to today, broke into the church and stole the food we were going to serve to the children. When asked why they did this, their answer was that they had already had a vbs and they didn't need another one. A Haitian church had come by and did a vbs there. YWAM is going to use this event as a discipleship tool. They are going to explain to the that God will not bless you if you do things like this, etc.

So our hearts are broken. We are sad that we won't be able to feed the children. Isaac broke my heart when he was telling me how disappointed he was that we wouldn't be able to feed them. That child has such a big heart and he and the other boys have done so well on this trip. I've enjoyed seeing them serve and experience Gods hand on Haiti. I can't wait to hear their testimonies when we get back and how their lives are changed.

So because the food was stolen we will not be going to Gervais today. We are going to a closer village and they are excited we are coming. The sad thing is that we will not be feeding them.

UPDATE

We went to Tinonette today. It was a beautiful village. We were able to go to the Market and buy Mangos to take so the kids would have something to eat. I got to go with Jay to buy the mangos. It was a great experience to be able to go into the street market and see the process of haggling. We were able to buy about 150 mangos for 8$ . The Mangos were delicious. I was able to eat one. There were two guys who were fighting over who would get to carry the mangos over to the truck in a wheelbarrow. That was the only time I got a little scared. 

When we got to the village we were able to use the school for VBS. I enjoyed seeing the school. It was very nice. I can't wait to show you all pictures. Vbs was great. After vbs we split into four groups and went into the village with our translator and prayed at each house. We asked them what rrneeds they had and prayed for them. Everywhere we went we had an entourage of children. I went with my cousins Tracia, Noah, and Scott. All the kids were trying to hold Tracia's hands. They would even fight about who got to hold our hands. 

We saw a lot of sickness today. A lot of sick kids. We had one boy who was holding his eye because his dad beat him. There was one little boy with a hermangioma on his ear really bad. The other kids shunned him and wouldn't go around him. We've seen so much in so short of time. There is evidence of Voodoo all around. They have flags sticking out of their house that corresponds to the kind of spirits they deal with and their specialties. Some of the people we spoke to today aren't saved and need prayer for God to guide them. Other prayer requests were for prosperity for their businesses, a lost visa for chile and her husband is going to work in chile. 

We have seen so much kindness here in Haiti and they are so thankful for what we do. We have also seen greed as we experienced today with the village we were supposed to go to. I am in the mind that, Gervais is the village that really needs us. Unfortunately I don't think we would be able to go there after what they did. 

When we got back. We grabbed a coke (my new addiction) I don't even like Coke but there isn't Mountain Dew in Haiti and I have a caffeine addiction and Haitian Coke tastes 100% better than American coke. It is 100% pure cane sugar. We sat down and talked about the day while waiting for Dinner. I could live forever on Haitian food. Delicious!

My family for the week

Fried Chicken, Salad, Pea salad, and a double portion of rice with white bean sauce and red tomato sauce and lots of Franks Red Hot sauce. 

After dinner we had some time to ourselves before we watched YWAM Hait's dance team 'Hope for the Generations'. We got to watch them warm up and then they wanted to see us dance so we did Now Behold The Lamb. We were a dozen members shy but God was still present. I hope that it blessed them a little. Then we got to watch the REAL dancers. They were so anointed! Not only are they dancing for Jesus but they are doing it in another language. In Rejoice we rely on ASL for our dances. Their dance team uses real dance moves and their facial expressions were out of this world. I especially loved their use of huge wooden blocks that they were tethered to. I know God is using them for his glory. You can learn more about them here: http://www.ywamhaiti.org/ministries/dancecamp/ 

Keep praying for us. Tomorrow is our last village and it is far away. We have come to expect the unexpected and to be flexible. Working as a team is key. If we fall apart then our witness falls apart and we are not able to minister as well if we are mad on the inside about petty stuff. (Talking about myself). It's all been a learning experience and by the time we perfect it it's time to go home, but we will be more prepared for next time. 

Ask God to give us Boldness, The gift of Utterance as I am not an eloquent speaker or prayer, calmness, the ability to work together as one unit in accordance to the will of God, not our own. (Again talking about me). That the children will pay attention and retain the message that we are giving them. That God will heal these people and help them to prosper and feed their families, seek medical attention, resist voodoo. God sent us here for a reason and I don't want to leave and not do what we came here for. Thank you all again for being so faithful. We love you all and can't wait to share this experience with you. Justin is going to be preparing an awesome video and has taken some amazing pics!

Day Two in Haiti

I slept really well last night thanks to some melatonin Megan brought. I woke up earlier than I had anticipated due to some roosters outside. It was nice to have some quiet time and do my devotional before the day started. 

Breakfast was delicious. I made a happy plate. (Of course). I am telling you, this pineapple has healing properties. It is that good. The coffee was sent from Angels. Put some much needed pep in my step. While we were eating Terry Snow the Director of YWAM Haiti joined us and gave some much needed words of wisdom. He asked us if we would like a tour of St. Marc, and of course we said YES! Some of us have read his book Taking the high places. I highly recommend it. Anyways we were able to see some of the places pivotal moments in the book took place. 

I can not describe in words to make you comprehend what we have seen. I read blog after blog in preparation for this trip and nothing you read or pictures you see prepare you for actually being here. It is a whole new world for me. We visited a prison today. The cells are open to the outside and cram packed with inmates, some minor offenses and the only reason the haven't been released is they can't pay the 15$ jail tax.

We visited a Super market today. Before we got off the bus we were bombarded with women and children holding out their hands for money or food. Women with babies were standing next to the bus holding their hands out. One of the YWAM staffers said its the same women with different babies everytime. They just go get a baby and come and beg. Of course we all gave in to the children. The supermarket was one of the nicer ones in Haiti. I was able to get a few souvenirs and some much needed powerade. It is very easy to get dehydrated fast here. You sweat out more liquid than you put in so we are constantly drinking water. 

After the tour we came back and ate lunch. Then we organized our VBS materials and presented our VBS idea to Jay and Kate. They taught us some key kreyol phrases that I have forgotten, sorry Kate! After we got all our VBS stuff organized we had some down time before we helped with children's church. We had intentions of taking a short nap but most of the women sat around and talked which was very nice. 

Children's ministry was amazing. I am so glad we got to experience it before we did our vbs. the children all just want to be loved, held, and paid attention to.

 The YWAM Staff does children's ministries every Wednesday. They usually have anywhere from 100-200. Tonight the numbers were down because of a party on the beach. These kids memorize a whole bible verse in minutes. YWAM did an awesome job with them. After the church we got to take pictures with the kids. 

After children's church we ate another delicious meal. I love the rice here. 

Then we went to Kate and Jay's house for movie night. I am so excited for tomorrow. I have a feeling it's going to be hard but very rewarding if we just remove ourselves and focus on the reason we are here. It is so easy to get frustrated in this heat. I appreciate all the prayers that are coming in for us. We need them. Tomorrow is our very first VBS!!!!

Jonah no more

I remember going to a conference in Gatlinburg with my Youth Group called Winterfest in the 90's and feeling the call to become a missionary. I've always felt that call and yet I pulled a Jonah and ignored it. Things happened that pulled me away from ministering to others.

Even now that I am an adult I still feel that calling. I serve where I can am I am active in my church, but that hasn't quelled that pull to become a missionary. I keep telling myself it is impossible. I wouldn't know where to start. I'm so flawed and I have a child with life threatening food allergies and autism. 

I am so excited that I have an opportunity to go on a mission trip with my church to Haiti. We will be leaving in June and will travel to Saint Marc. I have been searching for opportunities to serve in Haiti. I've looked at Medical Missions an several other excellent options. One night I happened to find YWAM. One of my Facebook friends did a discipleship training school in Australia through YWAM and I followed her blog and her experiences so I knew they were a great organization. 

I texted my friend from church about it and she said that they had been looking into going with their kids. So it all fell together. 

MY PERSONAL CONNECTION TO HAITI

I was very blessed when I was younger to go on several cruises in the Caribbean with my Dad. One of my favorite destinations was Labadee, Haiti. It was the most beautiful place I had ever scene. I can only imagine that Heaven will look like that.

                        Labadee is a private island in Haiti owned by Royal Carribean.

 This place was my Heaven on Earth, I didn't know the desperation of the people just over the hills. 

I remember eating all this food and looking up and seeing children watch us from the rocks. It was hard to eat after that. Before we left my new found Nirvana, we had an opportunity to go to the market. If you have never been to a market in the Caribbean it can be very intimidating and when you are a child as I was it was scary. People are very aggressively trying to get you to purchase their wares. 

                                                            The Market in Labadee Haiti 

I was drawn to this one guy who was sitting on the ground with these beautiful hand made dolls all around him. His words still haunt me. He said "I will give you these dolls if you bring me some hot dogs". I bought two dolls from him but I did not bring him food because we were told not to by Royal Caribbean. To this day I wish I had took him food. That moment stayed with me. The children and the man. I pray that RC gave them the leftover food. 

My dolls looked like voodoo dolls and they are now locked in a trunk somewhere because they terrified me to have them in my room. I want to go back to Haiti and help the people the way I felt I needed to that day. A short term mission trip is what I need to get some insight into over seas missions and to learn more about what they do and how I can help. If God leads me I will go. I know he will prepare a way for me. I am so excited to be sharing this experience with my church family. I know we will be blessed for going and I pray that God will use us as his living vessels to bless others. We are the hands and feet of Jesus. Maybe those of us who feel like we are not welcome, lonely, out of place are made to feel that way so we move. God doesn't want the Jonahs of the world to be comfortable. I don't know...just a thought.