Friday, July 31, 2015

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You can also follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Thissinglemomneedsgrace 

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Our Angel Kylie Grace

 I remember the first time I heard about Kylie. I went with some friends to a fundraiser in Maryville. There was this little girl who was so full of life and running around everywhere looking for the Princesses to play with. She didn't even seem to notice all the people who were there. She just wanted to get in the bounce castle and play. 

Kylie started coming to my church. This little girl would go to the altar on her own and prostrate herself before God and pray. She had more faith in God than most grown ups I know. She talked to him. They had a relationship that I covet. I believe he held her hand through everything she went through. 


Kylie would get up on stage at church with the other children saying their bible verses and when it came time for her to say her verse she would simply say God is good all the time. This sweet little girl who has gone through so much in her short life is saying God is good all the time.



 I don't know why God takes children. It really shakes my faith. It makes me angry. I know she was simply too good for this earth. God sent her here for a purpose and she fulfilled her purpose. For a fleeting moment I believe I was in the presence of a celestial being. She was an Angel sent here to remind us that God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. No matter what you are going through, if Kylie Grace can see God's good in her trial, then we have no excuse.


We are not promised tomorrow. We must live life to the fullest. Show compassion to one another regardless of politics. Be Jesus to the world. Use your hands and feet to do the work God sent you here to do and stop wasting precious time. I am thankful for little reminders. I'll have a really bad week and her little picture will show up in my time hop or someone will post it on FB and it reminds me to stop being so selfish. 


It also makes me hold Elijah closer. Please keep Kylie's parents in your thoughts and prayers as the anniversary of her death approaches. I can't begin to imagine what they have gone through or are feeling. I know that Kylie touched so many people. There's not one person I know that doesn't know her story or has touched them in some way. She made a difference. Halls Papa Johns is doing a fundraiser for The Butterfly Fund to honor her memory. I was blessed to be apart of the fundraiser last year. We even had people order pizza from out of state! So many people came out to support Kylie. I hope that this year we can do the same to help other children like Kylie please go check out the FB post to learn more 

https://www.facebook.com/HallsPapaJohns/posts/864667623620705

Here is Kylie's story, I promise it will move you. 


“Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man? the goodness of God endureth continually.”
Psalms 52:1 KJV
http://bible.com/1/psa.52.1.kjv

Our Mother son Date to see Minions

So I blew it BIG TIME yesterday. There was a Super League Gaming event at West Towne Mall and I waited until the day of the event to sign Elijah up and it SOLD OUT. He was so disappointed. Super League Gaming sets up in movie theaters and kids play mine craft together and they have YouTube stars there to meet the kids. 


When I told him what happened he informed me he was no longer speaking to me. I really did feel bad because I knew he was really looking forward to going. So I decided to make it up to him by taking him to the movies. It's not something we get to do so I knew it would cheer him up and of course he just had to punish me by picking Minions. 


I am not a fan of Minions. I tried everything to get him to see another movie...ANY other movie...but no he was dead set on seeing the Minions so that was my punishment. Oh the sacrifices we make for our children. So I accepted my punishment and off to the movies we went. The movie is rated PG13 and for good reason. They have cartoons robbing a bank and trying to kill each other. I didn't like it but Elijah did. 

Even though I would have rather done anything else, it was what Elijah wanted to do. We have to make these sacrifices for our kids, within reason. Afterwards he kept saying thank you for taking him to the movies. It was such a big deal for him. It's not something we are able to do often. I think the last movie we saw was the summer before. Even tonight he mentioned it. He said thank you so much for taking me to the movies yesterday. 


It makes me feel so good to know that I did something to make him so happy that he keeps mentioning it. He doesn't like for me to call them our Mom and Son dates anymore. He is too old for that and says it is weird. He is 10 and growing up. Time goes by so fast. I want to cherish these moments we have together. Before I know it he will be all grown up and have babies of his own. So of that means sitting through another Minions movie then bring it on! 

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”
Exodus 20:12 KJV
http://bible.com/1/exo.20.12.kjv

Monday, July 20, 2015

The Day, my Mammogram experience and aftermath

Today is THE day. It's finally here. All the sleepless nights, panic attacks, indigestion, and worry can finally stop right?

I went to my appointment this morning at Tennova North Imaging Center. I was very impressed with this facility. They were very kind. When I went to the "dressing room" they gave me a robe that had been in a warmer. I thought that was a really sweet gesture. Of course I'm a furnace and I'm having hot flashes at any given moment but still very sweet. I had brought my son so I waited with him. They had a little refrigerator with tiny cans of diet coke and water. He thought that was cool.

The Nurse took my history and did a breast exam. She put a sticker where the lump was. I was then taken to get a mammogram. This was something I had not expected. I was told I was getting an ultrasound. It was not as bad as I had heard. Maybe I was in shock of having to get one, but it was not painful. They used the 3D mammogram. After that was done they took me to the ultrasound room. The lady doing the ultrasound was someone I was in color guard with in high school. It's always great reconnecting with old friends while your breasts are exposed and you're wearing zero makeup.

When she got done with the ultrasound she said she was going to speak with the Doctor and see if he would like to come in and do the scan with her. At this point I was starting to freak out. Was he going to come in and tell me they had found cancer? What was I going to do? She came back and told me that it was not cancer, it was called an oil cyst. I could have it surgically removed if it bothered me. Other than that I just needed to keep an eye on it and if it got larger to come back and to do regular breast exams.

I thanked her, and thanked her again. I took a breath as if I was taking my first breath as a new human being. I collected my things and my child and I was praising God out of that hospital. I am not sure what I am going to do about it, but a cyst is so much easier to deal with than cancer. I'm going to make an appointment at my OBGYN and see what he thinks. I honestly don't know why God is so good to me. I'm a spoiled brat. There are so many others who are so much more deserving of his grace. I'm praying for so many right now who have cancer. Praying for a cure. Please, ladies do your monthly self breast exam, it doesn't take long and it could save a life! I'm very thankful my friend told me her story because I never would have done the exam and found the cyst. I hope maybe I can help someone too. God Bless!

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV)

More info on Breast Cysts: http://www.cancer.org/treatment/understandingyourdiagnosis/examsandtestdescriptions/forwomenfacingabreastbiopsy/breast-biopsy-benign-breast-conditions

How to do a Breast Self Exam:
http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/moreinformation/breastcancerearlydetection/breast-cancer-early-detection-acs-recs-bse

Sunday, July 19, 2015

A case of the Sunday's.....just a blah day

Sunday's are stressful. You wouldn't think they would be since it is supposed to be the Lord's day and all, but the Devil worms his way in and tries his best to ruin what is supposed to belong to the lord. I tried really hard to make it to Sunday School. I was super tired yesterday because I had gotten up early to do the Lord's work at our Women's Ministry Expo. So, around 7 o'clock I could not hold my eyes open anymore. I went to sleep. Of course I woke up at 11ish wide awake and didn't have a sound sleep the rest of the night.

When the alarm went off to start getting ready for Sunday School I just kept pressing snooze and finally got up with just enough time to get ready for church. KEYS.....Where are my @$&!$ keys? Just keeping it real folks. I do have a potty mouth. It's something I struggle with. When I'm frustrated or angry it comes out like Tourette's and it's enough to make a sailor blush. We all have our vices. I have quite a few. I was ready to walk out the door and I couldn't find my keys. Thankfully the child who couldn't find his head if it wasn't attached to him was having an off day and found them pretty quickly.

I am the Mom who puts on her makeup on the way to church. Yes, that's me. Distracted driver, GUILTY. I am a horrible driver but that's another blog post for another day. I was happy to make it to church ten minutes early, tried not to look anyone in the eye in my Sunday school class as I walked by shamefully and I set out to stake my claim on my choir seat. We do not have enough seats in our choir. We are very informal so first come first serve and I do not like to sit in the front row. I will move those scrawny little teenagers over if they get my seat, lol.

My Mom just started coming back to church this year and I've been really blessed. She brings my 15 month old niece and she is just a joy. We call her a sour patch kid. She will beat you in the face with a cell phone and then give you kisses. Church was excellent as usual. We really are blessed to have a really awesome church. After church we went to the grocery store and got us some things for lunch and dinner that we didn't really have to do too much to cook. I was really excited about these taquitos that I found that Elijah could have because they didn't have milk or eggs in them. 7 hours later and we start to get hungry and look for them and they aren't in the freezer... I left them in the trunk, in the hot summer heat. No taquitos for us and a wasted 5$.

I am still having major anxiety and some stomach issues I'm thinking are caused by the anxiety. Nothing is going my way tonight. I've wanted to stomp my feet a couple of times and send myself to time out.  Today has definitely been a very unproductive day. I am hoping that after the ultrasound tomorrow everything can go back to normal and we can put this past us.

I know God has more in store for me than this mess I call my life. I've just got to keep moving forward and take it day by day. I tend to get overwhelmed very easily and just want to give up. That's when I need him the most. That's when I pray the most.


For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ KJV)


Friday, July 17, 2015

Back to school.....already? Homeschool Co-op Party.

Today we had our back to school party with our homeschool co-op. It was a color explosion. There was powdered color dye the kids threw at each other (like the color runs) and we tie dyed t-shirts. There were snacks galore. Lots of cupcakes, fruit, sandwiches, chicken nuggets, chips, cookies, and snow cones. It was a blast. The kids played our favorite new game called Duck, Duck, Goose, but wait that's not new... Oh it is when you add water!


I went to my friend's kids vbs commencement and they did this.I went and got her and said, hey we have to do this tomorrow. You take a bowl of water and the person who is it goes around and puts their hand in the water and drops water on each persons head saying duck, duck, duck until they get to the goose and they dump the whole bowl on them. If they get caught they have to sit in the mosh pit. Which is the kiddie pool filled with water. I don't know why we didn't think of this when I was a kid. It's so much fun.

I did not stay outside a lot. I feel really bad. This big ole girl just can't take the heat. Give me Spring or Fall any day. So I stayed inside and manned the snow cone maker. My favorite part is just sitting and talking to the Moms. We all deal with so much and sometimes our kids are 90% of the conversation we have on a daily basis so getting some Mom time is a must. Our co-op has such a wonderful mix of moms. We are a melting pot of misfits.

Our co-op started when our leader Alecia had trouble finding a co-op she "fit" into. Some co-op's are really rigorous, so much so that it's basically school. They have very strict rules and regulations. We are very laid back and easy going. We have a lot of kids on the spectrum so we understand disruption. We cater to those who don't "fit" elsewhere.

I cannot believe August is almost here and we will be right back in the swing of things. I also can't believe I have a fifth grader. God willing we will make it, it takes a village and I have an awesome one.

My fifth grader

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (Deuteronomy 6:7 KJV)

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Health scare and being an obsessive worrier

My friend had a health scare a couple of months ago. She found a lump in her breast and she got it checked out and thankfully it turned out to be okay. She was telling me about it and when I was in the shower the next morning I decided to do a self breast exam. I don't do them so it's not a part of my routine. I found a lump. Immediately my heart skips a beat. I'm thinking to myself, see this is why I don't do self breast exams because I am a hypochondriac.

Last Friday I went to the Dr. to get it checked out. He told me I have fibrocystic breasts and some thickening, and he found the lump. He scheduled me to have an ultrasound this coming Monday. Well since this has all happened I have been a mental case (more than usual). I have worried myself into being sick to my stomach. I have been having major waves of anxiety and just paralyzing fear. There are so many scenarios playing in my head of how this could go down.

I am a Single Mom, so anytime a health concern comes up it freaks me out. What is going to happen to my child if something happens to me? He would be an orphan.

I have only told a couple of people. My best friend and the friend who had the breast scare before. I didn't tell anyone at church to pray for me because there are so many other people who I feel need prayer more and I don't want to take away from them. I know that sounds so silly but I can't ask for prayer for myself when my aunt is going through chemo for cancer right now. I feel all the prayer power needs to be on her right now. There are others who are also battling a lot right now so I'm dealing with this on my own.

I'm not really on my own am I? I'm kinda forgetting the one person who is shaking his head at me right now. God doesn't want us to worry. He wants us to turn everything over to him. I'm a worrywart so it's kind of like I'm holding onto it saying no God this is mine I want to hold onto it. I have a very hard time letting go and trusting God. I am going to try harder. I know I need some sweet peace to come over me and whatever happens Monday, well we will deal with it.



Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 KJV)

Ladies please do your self breast exams! Here is how: http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/moreinformation/breastcancerearlydetection/breast-cancer-early-detection-acs-recs-bse