My friend had a health scare a couple of months ago. She found a lump in her breast and she got it checked out and thankfully it turned out to be okay. She was telling me about it and when I was in the shower the next morning I decided to do a self breast exam. I don't do them so it's not a part of my routine. I found a lump. Immediately my heart skips a beat. I'm thinking to myself, see this is why I don't do self breast exams because I am a hypochondriac.
Last Friday I went to the Dr. to get it checked out. He told me I have fibrocystic breasts and some thickening, and he found the lump. He scheduled me to have an ultrasound this coming Monday. Well since this has all happened I have been a mental case (more than usual). I have worried myself into being sick to my stomach. I have been having major waves of anxiety and just paralyzing fear. There are so many scenarios playing in my head of how this could go down.
I am a Single Mom, so anytime a health concern comes up it freaks me out. What is going to happen to my child if something happens to me? He would be an orphan.
I have only told a couple of people. My best friend and the friend who had the breast scare before. I didn't tell anyone at church to pray for me because there are so many other people who I feel need prayer more and I don't want to take away from them. I know that sounds so silly but I can't ask for prayer for myself when my aunt is going through chemo for cancer right now. I feel all the prayer power needs to be on her right now. There are others who are also battling a lot right now so I'm dealing with this on my own.
I'm not really on my own am I? I'm kinda forgetting the one person who is shaking his head at me right now. God doesn't want us to worry. He wants us to turn everything over to him. I'm a worrywart so it's kind of like I'm holding onto it saying no God this is mine I want to hold onto it. I have a very hard time letting go and trusting God. I am going to try harder. I know I need some sweet peace to come over me and whatever happens Monday, well we will deal with it.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 KJV)
Ladies please do your self breast exams! Here is how: http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/moreinformation/breastcancerearlydetection/breast-cancer-early-detection-acs-recs-bse
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