The Fatherless

Elijah's father and I had a rocky marriage. There was a lot of fighting, verbal abuse, addiction and infidelity on his part, and we seperated when Elijah was three.  I was awarded full custody and his father was awarded supervised visitation. He never saw him after that. Never called the visitation Center to set up an appointment. No calls, cards, letters, presents, were sent on birthdays. He disappeared. I had to listen to my child cry for his father for months. Seven years later he can't remember what his father looked like or anything about him. What he is left with is a hole. An emptiness where his biological Father should have been. Kids ask Elijah where his dad is or why he doesn't have one. He just shrugs. 

                              David helping Elijah at the U.S. Space and Rocket Museum. 

Fathers are so important to a child's wellness. The statistics are staggering. I am doing everything that I can to be a Mom and Dad to Elijah. I know I fail him. He does mention that he wants a dad and I see the way he looks at the interaction between his friends and their dads. I am lucky that my best friend has a really awesome husband, David, who is so kind and patient with Elijah. He will listen to him ramble about games and play with him when he can. This is worth more than gold to a single mom. We don't ask for much. We don't need hand outs, but what we really need more than anything is for good strong male role models for our kids. I know God will bless you for it. Thank you to all the men in my life who take a little extra time with my child. It means so much to us both!

U.S. Fatherless Statistics

Fatherless Stats

1. 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]

2. 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]

3. 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]

4. 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]

5. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]

6. 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]

7. 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]

8. 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]

9. 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]

10. 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]

11. 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]

12. Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]